One January afternoon during her senior year in high school, my oldest daughter called me between classes to let me know that she had, “…had an epiphany!” about her future.  Now, this could have gone several directions; prom related, senior trip-related, graduation etc.  In this case, her realization was truly directing her life course.  She had decided that she wanted to earn a business degree in marketing and work in the field of sports marketing.

Turns out she had just left a class where the staff from the marketing department of a new minor league baseball team launching in our area had come by to talk about what they were doing.  My husband was seated right next to me when she called and as soon as I ended the call, we both started laughing.  Not because we thought her choices were funny but because we had known for quite some time that she should be a marketing major.  We both came from that background and had thought for a long time she would excel in the industry.  The fact that she chose sports marketing made us laugh even harder since that was what had put a roof over our heads since before she was born but, she like so many could not tell you exactly what her father did for a living.

Later that day she and her father decided to drop in on the new minor league baseball team for a quick visit.  Being in the industry, he knew people in the organization well, had touched base with them and thought it might be worth a drive-by to show her how to connect in person.  As they were visiting in the reception area, the marketing crew walked past, recognized our daughter from the class visit and offered to take her on a tour of the offices.  Our daughter came home excited and bubbling with enthusiasm.  She promptly pulled out stationery and wrote personal thank you notes to both members of the marketing team as well as the executive that was friends with my husband. 

Fast forward almost a year later, the same daughter has her first semester of college completed and is hoping to intern or work over the summer with that baseball team.  She emailed one of the marketing reps she met in her classroom to touch base and find out about possible opportunities. The rep wrote back immediately with information but started the email with, “Of course I remember you!  You asked great questions and wrote me such a nice thank you note after we met last year.  It’s pinned to my bulletin board next to my desk.”   (Cue the confetti and cheers) Wow!  Just wow! Parent validation!! 

They saw 120+ students that day and one stood out from the crowd. Because she was engaged; she knew how to carry on a conversation, asked questions, was not afraid to show her enthusiasm and took the time to handwrite a thank you note she became memorable.  Now our daughter did not end up ever interning or working for that baseball team; timing is everything too.  However, the lessons she learned firsthand about doing the right thing, making connections with others and being memorable served her well then, throughout college and beyond.

Today I am explaining three life skills that are vital for young adults to master preferably before they graduate from high school and if not then before they join the workforce.  The sooner you familiarize them with these habits the more opportunity they will have to practice and master the skills.  These are the kind of tools that will help open doors both professionally and socially. The following are the top three to help stand out in the crowd, will help with interviews that may be a part of school admissions or scholarship applications, seeking an internship or job and help build the poise they need to interact with confidence.

Thank you notes – What more can I say?  A simple thank you in person or by phone or email is nice and appreciated.  A hand-written note is not only the right thing to do, but it will make the sender memorable.  Let me say that again.  Handwritten thank-you notes make the sender memorable.

Thank you notes need to be mailed right away; no later than 24 hours after the interview, event or encounter.  If possible, be prepared and have everything required to write a thank-you note with you.  Go write it while thoughts are fresh from the conversation.  Then seal, address, stamp, and drop it in the mail right away.  Please, do not write it before an interview.  Thank you notes do not have to be lengthy but should be sincere and relevant to the conversation.  It also should be written on a nice piece of quality stationery, either a fold-over or a card.  If you are not sure exactly what to write or what to select to write on, follow the link here about Thank You Notes to get everything you need.  As a bonus, I have Included what is appropriate when writing the greeting and addressing the envelope.    

Introductions – Unless you have had a lot of practice introducing yourself to an individual or group, remember that everyone is a little nervous and you are not the only one.  In professional situations, the most important thing is to stand up straight, make eye contact, give a firm handshake, remember what you are hearing and smile all the way to your eyes; in other words, with sincerity.  If you did not hear something clearly, it is ok to ask for a repeat of what was said.  “I am so sorry.   Would you mind repeating the name again please?”  Repeating the name back to whomever you are being introduced to is a great way to recall what was said to you.  Follow the link here for more details about how to introduce others. 

Carrying on a Conversation – Conversations by definition, require engagement.  They are like a game of tennis or ping-pong. Someone serves, starting the conversation with a greeting and a question and the other party responds with an answer in complete sentences and statements.  Single-word answers CAN be thought of as a complete sentence, they are not the best choice because they undermine the goal of a conversation.  Which is simply to share information, get to know one another or both.

Listening, Observation and Self-awareness are all key elements of carrying on a conversation. Just like when you position yourself to volley the tennis or ping-pong ball back over the net, all three are elements of responses to help position you to answer the questions and comments from the other person and successfully carry on a conversation. FYI the people thought of as the best conversationalists tend to be the people who ask questions and listen well. If you have a question about something being said to you, ask as soon as possible so you don’t lose the thought and before the conversation moves on to something else.  If you are asked a question about something you do not know about or know the answer to, do not lie.  It will come back to haunt you.

 So there you have it!  No brain surgery or higher-level math here at all.  Just three common sense, simple things that will help the user be memorable and achieve their goals. 

You only have one chance to make a first impression and simple social skills like being able to carry on a conversation, thank you notes, being able to introduce yourself and others with grace really make a big difference in how you are perceived.  Like any other skill, practice makes perfect!  Once they are introduced, how can you keep practicing these things to master them?  Put yourself and your young adults in situations where they need to use them. 

It all sounds old school, but using these skills helps build confidence and awareness of others while increasing opportunities, so why wouldn’t you want to use them?

I hope you found this helpful, if you want more pearls of wisdom for you and your family? Join my email list and I will drop you a line to let you know about the latest blog posts. And don’t forget to follow me on Instagram @partialtopearls

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